Hope you had fun damaging our relationship tonight

1st of all. If you think I am mad at you because you went to get a drink of friends and that is all you seriously have a lot to think about.
1: I am mad at the fact that even though I was having a shitty as day, you only thought about yourself. The fact that I am stressed and upset that for another holliday I feel I have to choose between certain family members while neglecting others and I can't please and be at everyones house at the same time, you still got up and went to have a drink with your friends that you could have easily been like "hey, Asuka is going through shit, can we reschedule because she needs me." But since you have such a perfect and privileged life that apparently my split family issues are too complex for you to even understand where I come from. You couldn't even tell them that I needed you. Apparently this issue of mine is way to complex for your mind to even surround itself with. And you not even trying to see where I am coming from doesnt show that you are being quite supportive of me.

2: I am tired of you always giving me times when you are going to be home and you push them further and further back. I sit here not able to sleep worrying about your ass and all you don't even think about what you are causing me. I have two test tomorrow and I have gone off no sleep, and I don't even care how I do on those test because of how upset I am again.

3: It seems that the only two people that have been there for me this past week fully are Dusty and Mike, and they live 4-5 hrs away from me. And I am tired of having to go to them and cry and bitch because you won't help me. And when they ask me like what is carl doing to help you and I tell them, oh he is out drinking it makes me look like an idiot for dating someone who doesnt even seem to care. And when I do have an issue and you attempt to understand, when I laugh does it signal to you that I am suddenly all right. Well a little news flash. I AM NOT ALRIGHT. THE HOLLIDAYS ARE THE HARDEST TIMES I GO THROUGH BECAUSE I AM CONSTANTLY REMINDED THAT MY FAMILY WILL NEVER BE TOGETHER AND THAT I HAVE TO CHOOSE WHO I WANT TO SPEND MY HOLIDAY WITH. AND I AM CONSTANTLY REMINDED THAT CONSTANTLY SEE OTHER FAMILIES SO HAPPY AND I GET PISSED WHEN THEY ASK ME WHY MY FAMILY ISNT TOGETHER, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. YOU OBVIOUSLY DO NOT KNOW HOW THAT FEELS. EVERY YEAR I GET THE SAME FUCKING QUESTIONS AND WHEN I TELL THEM I AM SUDDENTLY SOMEONE WHO HAS PROBLEMS BECAUSE I AM FROM A SPLIT FAMILY.

IT COMPLETE BULLSHIT. MY FAMILY IS BROKEN, I DO NOT NEED THEM TO REINFORCE THAT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER.


Thanks for not supporting me, for not taking my feeling into consideration. For making me worry again and not doing anything about it.

Thank you for making my life more stress full and even more full of shit.